Read Red.

Besides yours, who do you think deserves "The Best Mother in the World" award?

Britney Spears.

It occurs to me that I spend a good deal of free time composing blogs.  I am prompted to question why-- am I writing for myself?  Is it entirely for the pure joy of language and composition, the satisfaction of seeing my ideas take a permanent form?  Do I make the effort to write becuase it is fulfilling and enjoyable?  Possibly.  But, it is unlikely that these conclusions are completely true. This is, say, 90% of the reason I blog.  The other 10% is because I know someone will read it, and I am an exhibitionist.  I like people to see a little bit into who I am, and that I can create a persona here on this Internet.  I also want to know that what I am saying is being read and considered, even if it is then tossed aside.  I don't care what you make of my words, or if they flee your mind immediately afterward.  I just want to be read.  Because I am a writer, and this is what we writers like to happen.

It then occurs to me that I have approximately 2.5 readers.  I am a Vox noob, so this is reasonably understandable.  I have two subscribers, and I am assigning that 0.5 to that occasional browsing stranger who will come across me in passing.  Hello Invisible Stranger.  This is okay, but that leaves 7.5% of my blogging satisfaction unfulfilled.  No girl wants get only get 92.5% of the way satisfied.

What, then, can be done to obtain 100% satisfaction from my Vox blog?  I consider passing out my URL to family and friends, but this feels like cheating.  They would feel obligated to read, and I would feel obligated to censor, hence, defeating the mother-fucking purpose of writing at all, (see how fun uncensored is?)  My two subscribers will likely continue to read, because they probably are notified when I update.  What is left is the 0.5 Invisible Reader.  Hello, again, Invisible Stranger.  I must pimp myself out to the occasional hapenstance reader.

Invisible Stranger, please continue to read my blog.  There are many reasons why you should.  First of all, I am pretty cool.  I like and notice unusual things, and will feel far more compelled to write about these Unusual Things if I know that Strangers are reading about them.  My writing will improve (I may even throw in some original fiction) and you will get a minute or two of entertainment on your way to your original destination.  Secondly, I will get off on knowing that you have read me (please read blog/please leave occasional comment) and you will have the self-satisfaction knowing that only you can make me cream my pants so.  And lastly, I am asking you very kindly to read my blog.

Please read my blog.

Show us your favorite tool.
Submitted by Maraschino.

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Maybe not these in particular, but my favorite tool is a good pen.  I've always hoarded pens.  And it IS a tool; a tool for creativity and for practicality.  It certainly gets the job done.  I build plenty of ideas with pens, work out problems with pens, complete legal documents with pens (daily,) and you can bet I have a stocked toolbox.  I pretty much always have a pen on me.  At work, there is always a pen in my palm or pocket.  I write a ton at work, and when vendors come in, I take as many as I can get.  The free ones always write the best, too.  Elder Care needs to send me more, because theirs was a really good quality pen, and mine finally died.  The social services department head and I always get the free pens, and compare which ones we prefer during our daily morning stand-up meeting.
I got these at Orchard Park's (an assisted living in town) open house this evening.  Earlier today, a therapy supply company came in and I took two of those pens.  They are cushioned at the grip, and write smoothly.
In this pic, the middle pen is actually a bright aqua that reminds me of the Bahamas.  It is also cushioned at the grip.  Mad props to Orchard Park for shelling out on the goods.

Just when I am frustrated with modern life and wishing all things 21st-century would eat it, I sit down to Herbie Hancock live with Joni Mitchell.  I almost threw the remote at the television but instead hit the power button and well, now, where would I ever get the turn to see two of my favorite musicians legendary musicians performing together except on HD television?  So I leave it on and watch.  And as Herbie sighs out a closed-eyed organic flow and Jonie volunteers her raw soul to me and I suddenly forget about MediCare benefits and credit card payments and death and remembering to live and I am in a studio with legends being taught to feel music once again and I remember how to improvise and I realize that music is still everywhere and you mustn't be concerned with the music to perform it and I smile suddenly and know why I was never good at jazz.  Herbie doesn't care what I think but picks up some kind of electric piano and whips that into shape and I think that jazz is meant for colors and cigarettes not solemn studios so I move Herbie to a lounge where together we can let our thoughts yell out before they disappear into the darkness but it doesn't matter that they're gone because they have really lived and I'm happy that we were able to have this conversation.  And now it doesn't matter that tomorrow is only Tuesday, because maybe tomorrow will bring pop and tribal dancing.  And all for the $65/month package deal.

What are you most looking forward to this weekend?

      Possibilities.  Weekends are open and can be filled up with adventures or the relaxing lack thereof.  Should we walk downtown?  Plant tomatoes?  Go see Dad?  Stay at home and let the hours slip quietly by?  Watch three movies in a row and nap?  Finally go see or do that thing we've been talking about?  Maybe deep clean then make something new for dinner?

     I love weekends.  I look most forward to the freedom.  Now that I no longer have to worry about reading ten chapters or that damn essay due Tuesday, I feel like those two days are a gift, given so that I can be myself for once.  We discussed perhaps visiting Mr.'s Uncle Scott in Santa Cruz, a place I've never been but am sure I would love.  I thought maybe I set up my sewing machine again and using that Joanne's gift card Mom gave me to get a pattern and fabric to play with.  Even though weekends are over too soon and Monday brings me to a screeching halt, I look forward to 5:00 and the options that I have for the next 48 hours.

     It's almost 5.

     There is this lady at work who got acrylic nails done about the time I started working here, two months ago.  She still has them on.  Over time, I have been watching them grow out more and more, getting increasingly faded, chipped, and raggedy, her tattoed finger overshadowed by their atrocity.  They look just aweful.  She is a horrendous chain smoker and has a gravely voice and bad hair and skin, but I thought "hey, at least she cares about the little details."  Apparently not.  Today I was in her office, and while she talked, I watched those grown-out talons with their straky black tips flail about as she wrote in childish penmanship and twirled her brittle hair.  I wanted to dip her in bleach solution and squeegie that grime away.

What would you like to do more of?

Running.  And I've begun doing more of this.  And by more, I mean any at all.  I have been leading a very sedentary lifestyle, and it has taken its toll.  Although I've never been athletic, I've always loved outdoorsy, physical activities, like hiking, walking, bike riding, ultimate frisbee, marching band.  I went through a thin stage in high school, where I worked my abs (mostly to impress my new boyfriend, who still loves me with flabby abs,) and with all of the walking I was doing, I slimmed out nicely.  I even pierced my navel.  But, the college lifestyle, then night shifts, raped my body.  I'm up to 200 lbs, and I can feel the energy in me begging for release.

     Mr. and I have been using the gym at our complex.  It is great.  Weight training is a fun challenge, and I can feel my muscles coming alive, aching and eager.  I am starting to have more control over my movements, and already appear more toned.  But, it is the running that I want.  Running means endurance, health, life.  Two weeks ago, I started making myself jog for one minute.  Just one minute, and I felt like I was dying.  Then I started jogging for one minute every few minutes.  Those intervals are starting to build my endurance.  Today I jogged for two minutes at a time, four times in twenty minutes.

     I want to do more running because I want to be able to join teams, climb through the Sierra Nevadas, and keep up with my 60-year-old dad without blinking an eye.  Maybe run marathons, or something equally grand.  I want my heart to be strong so it can beat for many years to come.  I want to live out every dream my husband and I have dreamed up together, knowing that I am at my best at all times, and that my own vessel isn't my own enemy. 

What do you love about where you live?

     An easier question would be: what do I not love about where I live?  That answer would be much shorter; I do not love the amount I pay for rent, and I do not love the lack of storage space available to me.

     I love my apartment so much.  The first thing I love is the landscaping.  It is the most beautifully landscaped complex I have ever been to, and it feels like a real yard.  I stand at my front door and I see a neat lawn, mature trees, and beautiful flower beds.  Now that spring is here, everything is in bloom and alive.  I sit on my balcony and see a courtyard of blooms and beds.

     I love how much character my place has.  The buildings look like neat little cottages.  There is so much detail, from the roof to the cute wooden railing, and from the arched doorways to the mirrored walls inside.  The building materials are all solid home materials, not flimsy bulk apartment crap.  It doesn't feel like a holding bin, but a home.

     I love that there are so many amenities.   We have a huge lounge available for parties or entertaining, (or watching giant screen tv.)  There is a bar, fridge, microwave, tables and chairs, couches, and a whole other room attached with more couches and two pool tables.  There is also a well-equipped gym and shower/bathroom facilities for men and women that we have been frequenting lately to get our burn on.  We have a big pool and hot tub, barbecue area, and plenty of outside entertaining space, which I fully intend to use often as the temperature continues to rise.

     I love the size of our kitchen.  For an apartment, it is fairly spacious, and Mr. 233 and I can both be in there cooking together with plenty of room.  Our living room is pretty large, too.  Although the square footage of our place is really tiny and there is NO closet space, we have more than enough room for living in the most important rooms.

     I love the neighborhood.  I mean, I have NEVER known any of my neighbors anywhere I've lived until now.  The crew here is awesome and friendly and all live here, and everyone comes out to play.  We even have apartment complex parties in the lounge!  Our balcony opens to the courtyard, where we have court yard cats to enjoy.

     I love that I am a couple minutes walking distance from the cute little Clovis downtown.  It reminds me of my tiny hometown, only better, with more interesting places to shop and eat, (and bars,) and way better town events.  Just last weekend was the town festival, and the week before was an antique and collectibles fair.  Mr. 233 and I walk down there all the time, and we really enjoy how Clovis has everything we need within walking distance or by a quick drive.  We have talked about moving to other parts of town, but Clovis really has everything I want in this area.  It's close to work and school, and because of the easy freeway access, I see can see my friends and family in a blink!

     And finally, I love that it is ours.  It is our first married home together, with our decorations and pictures, our life...ours.  And even though we will probably move away eventually, maybe to another city or bigger place, I will always love the charm of our first place.

     Amongst the many fabulous silver-screen musical masterpieces that many of us love and watch time and time again, I will always believe that the classic, "The Sound of Music" is the most incredible.  It is so old that I think it has, unfortunately, lost its touch with musical-lovers.  For those who haven't seen it or claim that they cannot make it all the way through, I urge you to try and make it through the lengthy piece and recognize how purely magnificent it is.
     "The Sound of Music" was on ABC Family last night, and although we didn't watch the entire movie, I made Mr. 233 sit and watch it for the first time, and I remembered, or maybe just realized, how much I love it.  The location is beautiful, the children talented and wonderful, the story complex, and Julie Andrews had the most ringing bell of a voice.  I long to sing like Fraulein Maria.  Even if it wasn't a musical, the story is relevant and complicated and deals with a political/ethical issue.
     It is musically spectacular.  What an amazing score, beautifully orchestrated and performed!  I don't think that musicals these days have as much hardcore talent and work as this one does, (although I certainly don't mean that they aren't chock full of it.)  I would have LOVED to play in that studio orchestra.  Every aspect of every detail of this film was attended to, and no special effects!  Pure goodness.  And it's uber romantic!!
     Julie Andrews could have played Maria so many different ways.  That character had the potential to be an airhead, a sarcastic snot, or a goody-two-shoes.  But she artfully added subtle nuances to the part, creating a Maria that was effectively both pure and cunning, dreamy and logical, submissive and guiding, and holy and human.  She manages to show the Captain what it is to live without undermining him, she remains devout without being obnoxious, and you see her cleverness with the children.  The Captain doesn't fall for her beauty, but her sincerity.  I think I could write a whole essay just on character dissection of Maria, and how Julie Andrews manages to capture it all with tiny character traits.
     On top of everything that is beautiful about "The Sound of Music," it is on the most basic level about a woman bringing music, both literally and figuratively, back to a family, and it changes their lives forever.  That is my favorite part!

What products can't you live without?
galindafied

CHAPSTICK!  I must have chapstick on my lips at ALL times!  I will wake up in the night if my lips are feeling dry.  Even our wedding favors were personalized chapsticks

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